Adoption in Pakistan and the World

Breaking the silence campaign: Changing the meaning of adoption in Pakistan and the world

Dr. Saima Eman (she/hers; cisgender, informal trans-adoptee; neurodiverse, mother, wife) CPsychol, AFBPsS, AFHEA, APA MFP Fellow, Ph.D (UK), Postdoc (UK), M.Sc. (UK), M.Sc., & CHRP. (PK), B.A, B.Sc. (PK) **

No human being can be raised in isolation. We all are raised or brought up in a certain environment which may be with the same parents or different parents. However, many of us have different sets of parents – some give us birth or donate a sperm/egg, but don’t raise us, some give us birth and raise us but are not biologically related, some raise us with their spouse, and some raise us as a single parent.

My effort is to change the meaning of adoption to an action of parenting to honour the human rights of adoptees and adoptive parents who are excluded from society because they deviate from the ableist norms of being biologically related to their child/parents or because the adoptees might be born to unmarried parents. For this purpose, I have invented new inclusive terminology in English and Urdu that I am advocating for and introducing to adoptees and adoptive parents through my project with 5 studies on adoption at Department of Applied Psychology, Lahore College for Women University.

There is ample discourse on the term “cisgender” nowadays, the term that was first introduced byDr. Dana Defosse (Defosse, 2023) who was trying to find out the opposite of “transgender” in order to avoid othering/excluding transgender people and which made gender identity a more meaningful concept.

The concept of cisgender versus transgender somehow clicked to me at once because cis means on the same side while trans means the opposite side. The term cisgender fought the unjust patriarchal ideology. In this context, I conceived the notion of cis-adoptee or cis-parented as a person who has the same biological and adoptive parents as opposed to trans-adoptee or trans-parented who has different biological and adoptive parents. Terms such as cisadoptee would help us get rid of binary and exclusionary terms such as adoptee and non-adoptee. Other terms that I invented are cis-siblings (siblings parented by the same parents) and so on. Similarly, instead of foster mother, I prefer to promote the term adoptive mother and all other relations should follow the words birth/adoptive.

In my culture, according to my study (e.g., Eman et al., 2025), and observations, informal adoptions happen mostly among genetically related people such as by uncles, aunts, grandparents (blood relatives who become adoptive parents). Family/kin adoptees are often unaware of their adoption until they grow up and then it is, as one of my research participants described it,  a “bomb dropped on them.”

The problem is that if adoptive parents’ name is legally documented, adoptees cannot legally identify with or inherit anything from their biological parents (which is against Islamic scriptures and considered a lie), while if biological parents’ name is legally documented, adoptees cannot identify legally with their adoptive parents, are stigmatized, and are refused all social benefits that come with adoption (thus negating the principles of Kafalah/Islamic adoption). Still, adoptive parents can give any amount of wealth to their adoptees in their lives if they wish to (allowed in Islam).

There is no space for both biological and adoptive affiliations on any official document but there is undue socio-legal and cultural emphasis on biological affiliation in the light of religious misinterpretation. I have therefore proposed a dual identity model of adoption and new terminology for adoptees so that adoptees are not only included in society (building on Marietta E Bunzel Spencer’s terminology on adoption) but also integrated with a unique identity (building on the idea presented by Tiffany Yu’s The Anti-Ableist Manifesto).

Personally, I am an unrecognised adult adoptee from Pakistan, a country similar to other Muslim countries that prohibit adoption and do not admit the adoptive social reality at religious, legal, societal, or other levels. Most of the laws are governed by patriarchal values, including the importance of the biological father regardless of whether he fathered his children or not. The notorious case of Tatheer Fatima (Bhatti, 2018) illustrates how children can be slaves of their biological parents. Those placing for adoption and those trying to adopt babies never realise that they are dealing with a human life that would develop an identity of its own with the right to own their identities. The lawyers and the judges are mostly non-adoptees/cis-adoptees from my perspective, whose decisions vary from case to case with no clear legal guidance. Although the laws claim to ensure a child’s welfare, they fail to recognise that a child does not have the capacity to advocate for their own welfare until they turn 18 years and even at that stage a child might not possess the vocabulary to express their feelings and wishes regarding their identity.

Therefore, adult adoptees must have the legal right to claim their dual identity in any court of the world along with their preferred affiliation because social benefits are tied to the act of parenting and the social reality and not the biological reality alone.

Adopted children born out of wedlock who do not have their parents married (due to rape or consensual sex) or whose parents are married secretly face the worst consequences (see Pakistani drama named dil mane na, as cited in Adoptive Human’s Rights, 2025) in terms of identity crises and failure in being recognised with a dual identity in the society.

Adoptees do not have control over their lives and their identities even after they become adults (Hobbs et al., 2024; Sorosky et al., 1975). A case from Australia (personal communication) showed that an adopted person (informally brought up) had his citizenship cancelled and was in detention because he was not biologically related to his adoptive father.

Most of the literature (e.g., Darnell et al., 2017; Manzi et al., 2014) focuses on transracial and transnational adoptees who might have an adoptive identity or who might be searching for their biological identity, but there are many others trying to get their adoptive identity recognised by society and the law in addition to their biological identity.

My qualitative pilot study conducted in Pakistan (Eman et al., 2024) that I presented at ICAR8 shows that informally adopted adult adoptees (not recognised as adopted by the law) do not firmly associate or affiliate with either biological or adoptive families. They had a mixed sense of self-identity/affiliation.

We all are adopted/raised/brought up. To give a voice to adoptees as different and diverse people (regardless of genetically related or unrelated) included in the world of non-adoptees, I invented the new terms. I wish to normalise the term “adoptee” because all living things (plants, animals, human beings) are adopted/socially raised. In other words, I am trying to drive the literature toward inclusion to the extent of changing the meaning of being adopted and being an adoptee. I often tell my biological children that I have adopted/raised them to counter ableism in terms of marginalization of adoptees. I tell them that the difference is that they have same biological and adoptive parents while I have different biological and adoptive parents and therefore they are my cis-adoptees and I am a trans-adoptee. Our Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) was an adoptee and adopted Hazrat Zayd as his son (Powers, 2014). Qur’anic verses were descended not to prohibit adoption in terms of care and affiliation but to grant adoptees their birthrights of lineage, inheritance, and to prevent ills such as incest. However, Muslim jurists confuse adoption with the Western concept of severance of birth ties and thus the legal community refrains from even using the word adoption. Adoption is highly stigmatized in the Pakistani Islamic society and adoptees are either unaware or are actively encouraged to hide their adoptive or birth identities as if they committed a crime (Ishaque, 2007). In the West, as well, adoptees often cannot access their birth information which is a violation of human rights (Feast & Howe, 2004).

According to my perspective, the invention of the new terms and the proposed adoption theory of dual identity (Eman et al., 2025) would effectively integrate, recognize, and respect a person’s affiliations and dual identities without contradicting laws and religious scriptures.

The policies and laws need to be changed with more clarity in the Guardians and Wards Act (1890). There are far reaching consequences in terms of permanency, recognized identity, integrity and mental wellbeing for persons adopted by different parents from the biological ones. Adoption as an existing disability due to paternalism would be recognised. Adoption in future would not be hidden. Adoptees would not face discrimination or suffer from deprivation of human rights to inheritance, birth information or rights to social benefits from living adoptive parents because their social reality would be accepted and validated regardless of kin or institutional adoption. The conflict over ownership of identity in the adoption triangle (i.e., the birth parents, adoptee and the adoptive parents) would end because everyone would be recognised. The adult adoptees would be able to claim their dual identity and personal affiliation (with birth/adoptive or both relations) in the court. The adoptees’ records in the national identification documents of Pakistan would not be written in the red ink. There would be more transparency in the legal records and the social discourse about adoption. Open and formal adoption would become the norm. Adoptees would be able to access their birth information and discrimination against the adoptees would end.

We presented our project as a poster at the 4th International Conference of Social Sciences on “Contemporary World: Challenges and Transformations, 2025” (CWCT-2025) organized by Department of Psychology, Rawalpindi Women University, Pakistan on 13 November, 2025.

We also presented our project at the first international conference “CHILDPSYCON 2025” at King Edward Medical University in Lahore, Pakistan on 28-29 November, 2025.

I am conducting further research (5 studies) in this area with my MS Clinical psychology students, The advocacy campaign is named Adoptive Human Rights, and is on Facebook. We will also be presenting a local human rights conference at Punjab University, 8 December, 2025.

References

Adoptive Human’s Rights. (2025). Discussion [Facebook Private Group]. Facebook.
Bhatti, H. (2018, September 13). Surname change case: SC asks father of petitioner to pay daughter’s expenses. Dawn.

Darnell, F. J., Johansen, A. B., Tavakoli, S., & Brugnone, N. (2016). Adoption and Identity Experiences Among Adult Transnational Adoptees: A Qualitative Study. Adoption Quarterly, 20(2), 155–166.

Defosse, D. (2023, February, 18). I coined the term ‘Cisgender’ 29 years Ago. Here’s what this controversial word really means. HuffPost Personal. 

Eman, S. (2017, October). Identity as an adopted human being. Inspirited Minds. Mental health Charity London, UK.

Eman, S., Islam, F., Nayyer, A., Salahuddin, S., Shafiq, H., Hamid, S., Mughal, H., Tahir, I., Waheed, K., & Dilshad, S. (2024, July 8-12). Identity and self-esteem of adult adoptees in Pakistan: A qualitative study [Oral presentation]. 8th International Conference on Adoption Research, Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA.

Eman, S., Hillstedt-Asplund, D.S.P., Malik, A.S., Raza, M., Ijaz, T. (2025, November, 13). Challenges of adoptees/care experienced persons in a Pakistani Islamic socio-legal context [Poster presentation]. 4th International Conference of Social Sciences on “Contemporary World: Challenges and Transformations, 2025” (CWCT-2025), Rawalpindi Women University, Rawalpindi, Pakistan.

Eman, S., Hillstedt-Asplund, D.S.P., Malik, A.S., Raza, M., Ijaz, T., Ayesha, T., Munawar, M., Ejaz, Z., & Shafqat, A. (2025, November, 28-29). A child is not always a child! Identity related mental health issues of adoptees/care-experienced persons in an Islamic and a Pakistani socio-legal context [Poster presentation]. 1st International CHILD PSYCON 2025, King Edward Medical University, Lahore, Pakistan.

Eman, S., Raza, M., Ali, M., Nayyer, A., & Boone, S.T.A. (2025, in press). Identity and self-esteem of adult adoptees in Pakistan: A qualitative study of kin/informal adoption. Adoption Quarterly.

Feast, J., & Howe, D. (2004). Open adoption records, the human rights of adopted people, and discrimination: The case of Odièvre v France 2003. European Journal of Social Work, 7(1), 25–42.

Hobbs, S. D., Krebsbach, J. M., Larson, R. P., Wells, C. R., & Saywitz, K. J. (2024). Voices of foster youth: Experts on their own lives. Taylor & Francis.

Ishaque, S. (2007). Interpreting a child’s right to an identity in context of Islamic Principles on adoption. PLR, 3, 53-123.

Manzi, C., Ferrari, L., Rosnati, R., & Benet-Martinez, V. (2014). Bicultural Identity Integration of Transracial Adolescent Adoptees: Antecedents and Outcomes: Antecedents and Outcomes. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 45(6), 888-904. (Original work published 2014)

Ministry of Law and Justice. (2022). Guardians and Wards Act, 1890.

Powers, D.S. (2014). Zayd: The little-known story of Muhammad’s adopted son. University of Pennsylvania Press.

Sorosky, A. D., Baran, A., & Pannor, R. (1975). Identity conflicts in adoptees. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 45(1), 18–27.

Spencer, M. E. (1979). The terminology of adoption. Child Welfare, 58(7), 451-459.

Yu, T. (2025). The anti-ableist manifesto: How to build a disability-inclusive world. Souvenir Press.

** Assistant Professor of Psychology at Department of Applied Psychology, Lahore College for Women University
Commonwealth Alumni Advisory Panel Member at Commonwealth Scholarship Commission (selected for the fourth time)
Advisory Council, Global Network of Psychologists for Human Rights.
Editorial board member, Psychology Teaching Review, The British Psychological Society
Disability mentor at Leadership Development Institute, American Psychological Association
Award Finalist 2021 for Professional Achievement in Psychology in Pakistan by the British Council
Profile links: https://www.linkedin.com/in/Dr-Saima-Eman; https://www.sheffield.ac.uk/inclusion/dr-saima-eman-cpsychol